.perception.

Relief comes in moments, on days, not always,
when the world's overcompensating pain seems dull and relentless...ly, I see
that the moments of ease came sparing and clean
with the staff-driven truth and the long white hair
always there
but only then that I felt, in repose, I suppose,
an ounce of relief.
But when my id, my ego, my self upon self says, to me, in a heated, heartfelt stutter:

"I ddiiddiiiddn't know....."

Then I know.

I know that this hole in my heart and this part in my soul
seem to be all I remember in the heat of my throws.
Times of peace or ease that sate
are those times of grit and grimace, and faith.
Much of the rest sits massively in wait
like a tumor webbed through synapse
...or a dog. at the gate.